Blue Nova
by LittleKnux2008
Summary: When Matt leaves Lita, her world starts to fall down around her, centering around the fact that she's pregnant with his baby. Chapter 13 now up!
1. Trish's Trash

Blue Nova

_Chapter 1_

                "Trish broke up with me."

                I suppose that I should show some sympathy for the purple haired wrestler in front of me, but I can't.  Maybe it's the fact that I knew this would happen sooner than later, and I told him so.  Or maybe it's because I'm pregnant and I'm starting on those famous mood swings.  Yeah, that's right.  Amy Dumas, the ever-famous Diva, is pregnant from Matt Hardy.  And here's the real kicker – Matt dumped me a month ago, two weeks before I figured out that I was pregnant.  For the first week after that, I was in denial.  I couldn't be pregnant!  The last few days I was downright angry.  But now, now I'm resigned.  Resigned to the facts that I can't wrestle for a few more years, that I'll be a single parent, & that this baby will have no father.  

                Okay, so maybe I'm not quite past the anger and completely into acceptance.  I'm mad at Matt and I for not using birth control, I'm furious at Matt for giving me this baby and then dumping me, and I'm ticked off at myself for delaying my career in wrestling for a few more years when I was so close to making it back into the ring.  

                I also haven't told anybody that I'm pregnant.  I don't want their pity.

                And I'm afraid to tell them.

                I suppose I could get an abortion, but I don't think that I could deal with that.  I don't think I could deal with that.  It's essentially murder in my eyes.  And adoption?  To let go of the person growing inside of me?  It would be like letting go of a part of me and I just can't do that.  

                "Ames?" Jeff says again.  I realize that I've been zoning out.  I scrounge up some pity and sympathy.

                "It was bound to happen," I say, "It wasn't you.  Trish goes through guys like lipstick.  She wears one for a while, and then decides that she doesn't like the color, so she goes to a new one."  Jeff sits down next to me on the leather couch.

                "Thanks, I suppose," he says blankly with a heavy sigh.  I crawl over and give him a hug.  I can tell he's been crying – his eyes are bloodshot.  He squeezes back before letting me go.  "I just thought that it'd be different," he admits, and sighs again, "I thought that she would be different to me, not just date me for a while and then break it off.  It sure seemed like it was going along good."  He furiously blinks the tears out of his eyes.  

                "That's what Trish does," I say, "She uses guys like that.  It's not your fault – it's hers."

                For a second, he gives me a weak smile.  "Thanks for being here for me," he says.  I smile back at him. 

                "I'll always be here for you Jeff," I pause, "That's a promise."  I've made many promises that I've never lived up to.  Like not becoming pregnant until I'm married, and not letting anything stop me on my way back to the ring.  But this promise?  To always be there for Jeff, who's like my brother in all aspects?  I'll live up to it, because he deserves it.

*                              *                              *                              *                              *

                For one time tonight, I was rooting for Test.  Which was really unfair and all, seeing as what he did to Stacey, but I couldn't help but smile with glee when Test dragged her out of the ring and onto the mats below, slapping her face into the mat.  In my eyes, she deserved it, walking to the ring like everything was utterly great, with this huge smile on her face.  And contrary to what I thought at first, it wasn't faked.  I hate her.

                Jeff fell asleep on my arm a few minutes after the match.  I'm going to have to move his head off of my shoulder soon; I'm losing circulation in my arm.  Shifting slowly, I'm able to move his head to my lap, and continue watching the show.  Not that I'm paying attention, of course.  I'm devoting my time to figuring out when to tell Matt that I'm pregnant with his child.  I'll have to tell him sometime before I have to leave the WWE for a while.  He'll get suspicious if I don't tell him why, and will probably jump to conclusions.  This is pathetic.  I can stand up to any person, male or female, not caring if all I get in return is an ass-kicking, but I can't get the courage to tell Matt that I'm pregnant?

                Absentmindedly, I twist a piece of Jeff's purple hair around my finger, looking down at him.  He looks kind of like a puppy when he's sleeping.  A very cute puppy.

                I suppose I'll have to tell everyone else sometime soon.  Ha!  I can't even tell the father and I'm supposed to tell my friends & the fans? 

                I really wish I could wake up and figure out that this was all a dream.  Just a dream.  

                Crap.  Someone's knocking on the door, and Jeff's starting to wake up from the booming noise.  I gently set Jeff's head down on the cushion that I was sitting on a few seconds ago and open the door, revealing Adam and Jay, or Edge and Christian, whatever you prefer.  Adam looks me over, cocking an eyebrow.  Great.  Thank you for reminding me that I probably look like shit, Adam.  A quick glance at the monitor that I turned off before opening the door reminds me even more.  My red hair is sticking places that I didn't know it could reach without hair spray, there are bags the color of Jeff's hair beneath my bloodshot eyes, and –

                "Hey Red," Adam greets, as he and Jay walk in, taking the second leather couch in the room.  Adam lifts his sunglasses off of his face and onto his mane of yellow blond hair.  Why was I so worried on how I look?  They're my friends, they've seen me looking worse.  

                "How's Jeff?" Jay asks, casting an eye on Jeff while reminding me of how fast news travels in the WWE.

                "Okay," I replied, "Bummed out and tired."

                "Apparently," commented Adam.  I roll my eyes in response.  Jay and Adam stay a bit longer, talking about things that don't matter for the whole part, making frequent jokes.  My fake laughs must have fooled Jay, because now that they've decided to leave, Jay walks out with a simple Good-bye.  Adam, however, stays.  

                "Are you okay, Amy?" he asks, setting a hand on my shoulder.  

                "Yes," I'm dying to tell him no, but I can't let myself.  Adam purses his lips together, a concerned look on his face.  

                "All right," he relents, thank goodness, "If something is wrong…"

                "I'll call you," I finish helpfully.  He smiles. 

                "You had better," he says, leaning closer.  I can feel his breath whisper across my face.  He slowly, gently presses his lips to mine.

                If I died now, I would consider myself a happy person.

                Hell, I already feel like I'm in heaven.  He pulls back, his face still close.  I'm too shocked to say anything, but to stare at him.  For a moment, all I can hear is our steady breathing, but then he pulls his face back suddenly.  

                "I…  I better go," he mumbles, a flush creeping across from his face as he hurries out.  By the time I get to my senses, and run to the door, yelling his name, he's no one in sight.  A sinking feeling in my stomach, I return to the room a few minutes later.

                God, I'm so stupid sometimes.  

                "I take it that you and Matt were never actually _'taking a break'_," Jeff says, one of his eyes flickering open.

                _A very stupid liar._

-                               -                               -                               -                               -

**Author's Note:  **_Woohoo!  Lita/Edge!!   This story won't be updated for a while (sorry) because I've got about 10 other stories to attend to.  Just wanted to lay this out before the idea disappeared.  Please review!_


	2. An Affair to Remember

Blue Nova

Chapter 2

Maybe I should explain. When Matt and I broke up, we decided to tell Jeff that we were just taking a break, you know, so he wouldn't feel like he had to choose between us. Actually, now that I think about it, _Matt _decided to brake up, and _Matt _decided to tell that to Jeff. Oh well.

"Um…" was all I say in reply, debating whether or not to tell him. He has a right to know. Actually, he probably already knows and is looking for assurance.

"Please, Li," he says, using one of my many nicknames, staring at me with puppy dog eyes. It's not a matter of whether I'm going to tell him. I have to. But I hate talking about it. Heck, I hate talking about Matt, period. I clench my jaw, staring at Jeff as he sits up, forcing my mind to curl higher to the sky, to try and ignore my words as I speak them. It's no use getting angry all over again.

"He dumped me," I say, "A month ago." And left me with his baby. Okay, so my mind is back down to Earth, and my hands are curled up, my nails digging into my skin. And he's over me.

I think I am too. It hardly took him a week to find a new girl, hanging on his arm, kissing him, hugging him, being there for him, making him tick. All the things that I didn't do, Matt says. But now, thinking of Edge, maybe I've found someone to create a scab and heal the gaping hole in my heart that Matthew Moore Hardy left in me. Maybe.

Jeff closes his eyes lightly, "God…" he whispers, and then looks up at me, "I'm so sorry Li." He stands up, and enfolds me in a hug. I hug him back slightly, and when we pull back, I see that his face is still pale, and the smile he's trying to give me is a pained, strained expression. "I guess you're over him, then," he says. I blush.

"I suppose," I say, trying to fight the red out of my face. Since when did I start blushing? Since now, I suppose. Jeff is looking even whiter now. Kind of like a ghost…a purple-headed ghost, given.

"So…" he says, and I can tell he's trying to tease me, "How does it feel to have Adam kiss you?"

Indescribable. I roll my eyes at him, and sit down on one of the couches, focusing my eyes on the monitor. A few moments later, the cushion to my right bends beneath Jeff's weight with a small whoosh of air.

"You love him, don't you?" Jeff says, staring at the small T.V too. I know for a fact that neither of us is watching it. Do I? It's not really one of the things that I've ever really considered, seeing as how I always look to my guy friends as brothers. I know I _like _him _really, really _well, I mean, how else would his kiss melt me? But _love? _I don't know…

And what does he expect me to say if I was positive that I did, anyway? 'Yeah, Jeff, I'm in love with one of your best friends!'. I don't know what I'm considering him as. And I won't tell you 'til I'm sure, Jeff.

Jeff is quiet next to me, blankly staring at the monitor. I know he's replaying the break up in his mind. He's thinking of what he could've done to stop it; what he did do to cause it. I know because that is exactly what I did. I guess we're in the same boat now, too. We're both still feeling the effects of a relationship. Although mine is probably going to last every time I look down at my stomach and then when I look at my baby.

God, _my baby. _It sounds so… weird.

"I'm going for a walk," Jeff announces bluntly. I didn't even try to stop him as he walked out. He's going to wander the hallways, looking at everything that reminds him of Trish, and then he's going to beat himself up emotionally over it. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. I could stop him from going, but I can't stop his thoughts. I wish I could. Even if I tried to explain to him that it was Trish's fault that they broke up, he would never listen to me and pin the guilt on Trish.

Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I'm thinking 'I told you so' to this whole break-up, doesn't mean I'm not mad at Trish. Actually, I'm not. I'm furious.

Hmm… Maybe it's time for a little girl talk to Trish…

* * *

Luckily for me, Trish is ready and dressed when I come into the Diva's locker room. And she's the only one in here, thank goodness. I grasp her arm tightly in my hand and drag her out to the hallway.

"We need to talk," I say lowly, trying to keep the anger out of my voice, and the urge to beat her up at bay. Trish has this scared look on her face that swells my pride. Good. She _should _be scared.

"You don't hate me for what I did, do you?" Trish asks in a small, petite voice. Yes, I do, but I hated you from the start anyway. The break up did nothing to improve your reputation with me.

"No Trish," I say soothingly, giving her a friendly hug, rubbing my hand up and down her back, as I speak, trying to get my fingers to uncurl from the fists that they were balled in, "I'll never hate you!" I add, pulling back.

It makes me sick that I'm such a good liar.

Trish sniffs slightly and gives me a small smile, "Thanks Amy, it means a lot to me." It means bullshit to both of us, Trish. We both sit down on one of the black storage cases littering the hallways.

"Look," I say, turning to her, trying to keep the light, friendly look in place, "What made you break up with him?" Trish draws back immediately, thinking (correctly) that I had faked the sisterly hug and words. "Trish!" I grab her arm, more gentle this time, "Anything that you tell me doesn't get repeated to _anyone _especially Jeff, and I hope it's vice versa. Trish doesn't come back to the case, but she does stand still. "I want to know what he did to push you away." Okay, she isn't buying it. "Trish, listen, I had a fling with Jeff a while ago before I was with Matt," I say. By the look on Trish's face as she turns around, I proved my lying skills once again, "And, well, I just want to know what he did to drive you away, to see if it was just me, the way he acted and stuff." Trish slowly sits back up on the case.

She bows her head, twiddling with her thumbs, "Well, Jeff was great… He was so sweet, saving me that day. And when we kissed…" she trailed off, a vague smile on her face, "It was great, to put it in lesser terms." She sighs. Dun, dun, dun. The bad part… "Then, when we became a couple, he became… He became like a slave, doing whatever I wanted… He never said no to me once, Amy." And here I thought that would be a good thing. "I _like _guys playing hard to get." Unless you can't get them. "I _like _guys saying no every once in a while." Because then that's one more thing you can say when you break up with them. "Jeff was crazy, and sweet, but he was so _boring. _He didn't do anything around me… Just acted, well, normal." Because _you _made him uncomfortable. "I wanted to get with him because he was so exciting." And he would get your fan base higher. "And then I found out he wasn't so exciting." Because he didn't get you as high up in the Federation as you wanted; he didn't get you as far as Vince did, but he still made you the face you are today.

"There's something else, too, isn't there Trish?" I say, guessing. Apparently, I was right, because she looks up, shocked.

"Is it that obvious?" she asks.

"I have a knack for these things," I lie.

"Well," Trish says, looking nervous. I swear it's the millionth time she's said that word in two minutes, "I… I had a fling with another one of the wrestlers. I thought that it was just a one-time thing to him. But then he called me the next day," an airy smile claimed her face for a spilt second, "We kept doing this for awhile… It made me feel so dirty, sleeping with him _and _Jeff. I told him so. He agreed; he had a girlfriend too, and we were both just looking for something more exciting. So, I guess like a month ago or something, he dumped her, and pressured me to dump Jeff." My ears were ringing. _'…about a month ago…'_ Coincidence. It had to be. "I couldn't be so heartless. So I slowly started to avoid his phone calls, preparing him for it, you know." And you did a horrible job, Trish. All you did was prolong his pain. Her eyes start to fill with tears. I sigh inwardly. Oh, great. Just what I need, a blonde bimbo waterfall on my shoulder. "And then," she pauses dramatically, "Today I after I broke up with Jeff, after I got back from the ring, I called him. He said that he, he had a girlfriend now." I place a hand on her shoulder, massaging it gently. It takes all of my will not to try and break her shoulder. "Some giggly brunette," she snapped. Coincidence, right? Matt had Dawn Marie on _his _arm when I saw him last. "He… He asked if we could be a _threesome!_" she howls. "I won't let myself be degraded like that! And I told him so!" Yet it didn't degrade you to bark for Mr. McMahon on all fours? She sighed, "And then he came here later, and begged for forgiveness," she smiles for a faltering second, "I forgave him. We kissed and all that, but then he said that if I didn't want a threesome, then I'd have to wait for him to dump her, just like he had to wait for me to dump Jeff!"

I close my eyes quietly, "It's Matt, isn't it?"

She looks up, tears filling her eyes, "Yes."

- - - - -

**Author's Note: **_… I'm scaring myself with each chapter that I write… Review, anyway… Please! _


	3. Sweet Revenge

_Blue Nova_

_Chapter 3_

"He cheated on me…" maybe I shouldn't be so surprised about this, but I am…  God, I can't even think.  Every time he said he loved me…  Every time...  It was just a big lie…  

            "I'm-I'm sorry Lita…" Trish sputters.  Looking down, I realize that my hands are shaking.  Slowly, I stop them.  I'm supposed to be this macho woman, not scared of anything, because no one can hurt me.  Let me tell you something – no one is immune to pain.

            But it can't help to wish, can it?

            Trish is still staring at me, eyes wide.  Everyone loves her.  She's the woman who turned from eye candy to wrestler, the pretty thing that had to go through so much to achieve what she has today.  A real catch, beautiful and ambitious.  Poor, little Trish.  

            Sometimes I feel like reminding the fans that _she _was the one who they booed for months straight, the boss's new whore.  Or reminding them that _I _never was eye candy, but I tried harder than Trish to become a wrestler.  Or maybe I should just tell them that the whore that they booed is still in her, only backstage and along with other wrestlers.  Do I need to list the things she's done, besides sleeping with Matt, cheating on Jeff?

            "Trish," I'm not exactly _trying to keep my voice level, but what do I care, really?  "Let me get this straight.  You were going out with Jeff.  You loved him.  And then you started sleeping with Matt and cheating on Jeff."_

            Trish cringes, "I… Yes, but –"

            I hold up my hand, "Let me finish Trish, and if you interrupt me, may God have pity on what's left of you."  She stops and starts looking frightened.  "You are a tramp, a whore, whatever your word for it is.  Jeff wasn't enough for you, was he?" so what if I'm shouting now?  "So you had to go jump in the sack with his brother!"

            "You-you-" I what, Trish?

            "Oh yeah, you were suffering from heartbreak after Edge broke up with you, right?  Wait, never mind!  He broke up with you because he found out that you were cheating on him with Hunter!"

            "_You're _just jealous that I get more men than you'll ever meet in your lifetime!"

            "I suppose I'd get more men, too, if I rented myself out like you do!"

            "Are you calling me a prostitute?"

            "Sounds about right!" 

            "I am not a prostitute," her voice is shaking.  With anger, I guess.  

            "Oh, really?" I cock my head.  

            "If I was a prostitute," Trish started, "Which I'm not!" couldn't see that one coming for miles… "Then why would the guys pine over me when I leave them?"

            "Pine?  Over a tramp like you?" she's silent for a moment.  "Why would they pine over you, Trish, when they know that they can get a repeat performance whenever they have some spare change?"

            "You BITCH!" she leaps toward me, but it's not like that move is surprising.  I duck out of the way; grabbing her hair and helping her go crashing into the floor.  When she leaps, up, I spear her to the ground, grabbing at her head, crashing it against the cool concrete.  Taking a brief glance up, I see that cameras have gathered, shooting it for a promo that I have yet to hear about.  Behind them, there's someone behind them…

            Oh, God.

            It's Jeff… 

            Trish takes the chance to wrap her tiny little fingers around my throat and roll us around until she's on top, strangling me.  Despite the fact that I'm choking to death, I still can't get Jeff's face out of my head…  The look on his face, the tears pricking at his eyes…

            Somehow, I manage to bring my knee up enough to collide against Trish's ribs, which sends her sprawling to the side.  Ignoring the chants from the stagehands, I push past the cameras, which turn to follow me.

            "JEFF!" I cry, and he won't turn around, he just keeps running.  Picking up my sprint, I run past the corner he'd turned on.  Someone grabs me from behind, and I go sprawling to the floor, landing on my butt.  "Oomph!"  Rough hands jerked me to my feet.  Looking down the hall, I realize that Jeff is too far away to be caught up with.  Great.  Now I'm going to have to hurt this sorry ass.  

            "Hello, Lita," I turn to look at him, and my jaw drops.  Oh no, this is NOT good…  "Been a while, huh?"

            _Oh, shit. _


	4. Knights In Shining Armor

**Author's Note: **Sorry it's been so long since the last update!! I've been working on a lot of other stories, and this one kind of got pushed to the back. Anyhow, please review!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**Blue Nova**

** Chapter 4**

You know, I really have a magnet for things screwing up and going wrong. This just proves to be another day where there is no room for argument in that statement. Beating Trish into a bloody pulp had had a lot of things going for it, but now the plan had screwed me over. Jeff had seen me and her fighting, and now I was standing here, not exactly in the best of shape, and not exactly with the best of people.

I step backward, an instinctive thing. His hand is still wrapped around my forearm with a death grip. I'm not going anywhere… Looking at him, I feel a small burst of fear tackling my stomach. "What do you want?" I snap, hoping my voice is steadier than my stomach. He trails a finger across my cheek. Gross… I'm going to have to take a few good showers after this. My skin feels like slime where he touched it.

"Isn't it obvious?" he says, eyes still focused on mine. "I want you, Lita."

"Flattering, but no," I reply, jerking my hand away from him. As I turned, a smile claimed my face. So help me, I was proud of myself. The last time I'd been in a ring with the guy he had been cracking a steel chair on me a dozen times with Stone Cold Steve Austin. My smile stopped dead when my pathway was blocked by the one and only Randy Orton. He had his cocky smile across his face, his arms crossed over his chest.

I never realized how much I wanted to slap him until now. "Get out of my way," my voice was louder than it needed to be, but more angry than panicky. Just what I need, to be stuck in a hallway with these guys. Growling, I turn back to Hunter, hoping that he doesn't see the fear. With a sigh, I speak. "Hunter, get your ass of a bitch out of my way. I've got better things to do than talk to you two."

He surprisingly doesn't take offense to my comments, and instead raises an eyebrow, reaching again for me. "And why don't you want to spend more time with me?"

I was having a damned day, and he was making it worse. My response wasn't nice. "Well, since apparently I have all the time in the world," I pass a dark look at Randy, "I'll lay down a couple reasons for you. 1, you're an asshole. The biggest asshole in the business. 2, your nose takes up an entire zip code, I doubt anyone can share a six-foot space with you, let alone a bed. 3, I would rather go lesbian than sleep with a slime like you." I let out a self-satisfied smile. I think the nose comment got him. I turn to go, the opposite direction of Randy, but I am stopped again, this time by Batitsa.

Shit.

Okay, maybe Hunter and Randy don't make that much of intimidation on me, but this guy scared the shit out of me. Hunter and Randy are intimidating on that call for help stage. Batista is high on the scale, reaction of peeing your pants and running away screaming.

I turn back to Hunter once again. This was getting old, fast. I was cranky and wanted to go lay down. "First you drug Stephanie to marry you. And now you're resorting to intimidation to get the girl?" I snort. "And you guys think that Goldberg is full of hype."

"Lita, Lita, Lita…" he's using that calm tone with me again, and it is really unnerving. "You can throw your little insults all you want, but face it; you're not getting out of here." He steps closer.

I'm resisting the urge to tell him that he just broke my personal bubble. He puts his hand on my neck, and I know he's going to kiss me. I throw his hand away. "Touch me again and I'll break each and every one of your fingers," I tell him. Okay, so maybe it's an empty threat. If he touched me again I was going to barf all over his pretty suit. It would teach him right.

Great, now he's leaning forward and my back is against the wall. I'm surrounded on all sides by Evolution. Not a good thing, not good at all. He's talking again, but I'm not listening. Something about going home with him tonight. I'm so busy trying to think a way out of here that I block him out. If I thought he was invading my space earlier, he's in the danger zone now. There's barely half a foot between us.

Out of desperation, I raised my hand, poking his eyes with my two fingers. Okay, so it was lame. But he was bending over and looked blind enough to allow some escape, and that was all I cared about. There was still the matter of his goons. I turn to Batista, the one who looked like he was ready to decapitate me. After a pretty savage knee to his balls, I was satisfied that he might not have kids again, not to mention kill me.

Randy grabbed me before I could get to him. He shoved me against the wall, and I'm kind of freaked out. I mean, it's not everyone's dream to be pressed up between a wall and something that looked like a humanized pug. Randy leans forward, pressing his lips against mine.

I can take chair shots. I can take perverted comments. But I can't take people kissing me when I don't want to be kissed. I shoved against his chest, but, wimpy as he sounds, Randy was strong. I could feel his tongue against my lips.

Ewwwww…

I minus well invest in mouthwash, because I would solely keep them in business with how much I bought to get his germs off my mouth.

Suddenly, he was thrown backward. I immediately wipe my mouth, confused. My confusion clears right up, however, when I see Adam, Jay, and Chris Jericho, attacking Evolution for all they were worth. With the element of surprise and the use of the concrete walls, the three Canadians made quick work of Evolution. Knowing that it wouldn't last long, we walked away together.

Chris slung an arm around my shoulder. "I know it looked like you were really enjoying that kiss, but I can't afford to have my future girlfriend swapping spit with Randy Orton. Might contaminate that pretty mouth of yours," he added, smiling. I laugh in response. Chris was nearly as close to me as Jeff was. A lot of people thought Chris and I were going to get together, and it was something we constantly poked fun at.

"We couldn't have that, now can we?" I replied to him, and then looked to Jay and Adam. "But seriously guys, thanks for the save."

"Hey it was no problem. But as soon as Eric Bischoff gets wind of it, we'll probably have a match," Jay says with a sigh. Shaking his head, he moves away from us, "I have to go do a couple things. C'mon, Jerky."

"What do you mean? I was going to hang out with Red some more, and-HEY! Let go of me!" Christian proceeded to drag Chris away.

It's painfully obvious they want Adam and me to be left alone, and I don't really mind. I have a few things to say to him.

Normally I'd complain that my life is too full of cliches. Like now, Adam (and the others) saving my ass, making him my knight in shining armor.

Right now, I don't mind too much.


	5. Suspicions

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 5**

          Awkward silences suck.  If I drew up my list of most hated things, it would be right up there by Evolution and Trish.  "So…" Adam says, trying to start a conversation and failing miserably, but at least he tried.  After another length of silence, he speaks again.  "Why were you over there by Evolution?" He sounds like a mother talking to a child who had done something wrong.

          I really didn't want to answer the question.  I mean, that would be dragging out the whole issue of Matt sleeping with Trish Stratus, and that was something I still needed time to digest.  So, I did what every respectable woman would do.  I lied.  Well…it wasn't necessarily a lie.  I just didn't tell him the entire truth.  "I needed to talk to Jeff and I caught sight of him running down that hallway, so I followed him.  I didn't notice that Evolution's locker room was right there.  Hunter grabbed me while I was running." I look over at him with a smile.  "So do you believe me, Daddy?" I ask him.  He laughs in reply, shaking his head.

          "Jerky and Christian sure high-tailed it out of here," he observes, staring ahead.  I take my time looking at him, something that I have just recently found to be a worthwhile hobby.

          "That's all well and good, because I have to talk to you about something," I say, rounding up my courage.  Damn.  If this is hard, how will it be when I tell him that I'm pregnant with the baby of my ex-boyfriend that was cheating on me for a good few months?  I shook my head, pushing the thought away for the moment.  I plunge onward, knowing that my courage was about zip and if I ever wanted to say something, it had to be now.  "It's about earlier today."

          Adam blushes.  I've never actually seen him look embarrassed.  Well, until now.  "Yeah, about that…  I wasn't thinking…  We can just pretend it never happened," he adds.  His face is pointing toward the ground.  

          I wait until I catch his eyes to say anything.  "That's just it," I whisper, "I don't' want to pretend that it never happened," I say.  His eyes open in what I hope is shock.  I step closer to him.  "In fact," my voice was now a breathy whisper, "I want to do it again."  I tilt my head up, pressing my lips softly against his.  All I have to say is that I need to invest in stilts.  I can sense his surprise, but after a moment he puts his arms around me and kisses back, deepening the kiss.  Warmth floods into my lips, and shoots straight down.  Tentatively I open my lips, letting him slide his tongue into my mouth.

          It was right then, in our shared moment of bliss, that none other than Molly Holly interrupted us.  "So, moved on to your next customer?" her voice cut through the air.  I pull away from Adam, touching a finger to my lips.  They feel swollen, but I'm not complaining.  For a minute I stood there like that.  Adam ducks his head, and I can tell he is restraining a laugh. 

          I turn to Molly, my glare cutting.  "Next customer?  Excuse me?  I believe that you mixed me up with Trish Stratus; she's the prostitute around here."

          "Oh, like you aren't.  First Matt, then Christian, then Jeff, then Matt again, and now Edge?"

          I felt my eyelid twitching in annoyance.  "Wow, Molly, I didn't think you kept score.  Living your love life through mine?  You must be, because you can't even get a pompous Harvard grad.  I think you really are trying…  And by the way, if you're going to go out of your way to keep track of every guy I date, get it right.  There was no Jeff.  And it was Matt, Christian, the Rock, Matt, and," I pass a look to Edge, and then back to Molly.  "Edge.  Got it?" my tone isn't exactly friendly.  Adam raises an eyebrow as Molly glares at me.

          "I'll see you in the ring tonight!" she says. 

          I wave sarcastically to her as she goes.  "Always a pleasure!" I call. 

          "The Rock?" Adam asks after we began to walk again.

          I smile, "Yeah, for a month.  He's a great guy."

          "Sounds like I have some competition," he muses.

          I laugh.  "Nah, Dwayne and I realized that we were better off as friends.  Plus, I knew this woman who really liked him and wanted to meet him.  I introduced them a while after we broke up.  Surprisingly, they hit it off.  Rocky proposed to her a month ago, and their wedding is in three months or something like that."  Finally, we reach my locker room.  The awkward silence returned in full force.  I was the first to speak, jabbing my thumb in direction behind me as I did so.  "I'm going to go and lay down," I say, and it was the truth.  My head hurt like hell, and I was still downright cranky.  Though, the kiss did kind of improve that…  The day wasn't favoring me.

          Adam pauses for a long moment.  I can tell there's something on his mind that he doesn't know if he should ask.  Finally he comes outright with it.  "Li…What's up with you?" he asks.  I freeze.

          "What do you mean?" I reply, playing dumb.  I know exactly what he means.

          "For the past couple weeks, you've been…  Well…  You've been laying down a lot, you've been a little unsocial-"

          "You call kissing antisocial?"

          "You know full well what I mean, Li.  So what's the deal?  Are you sick?  What's the matter?" he looks uncertain, wondering if he crossed an invisible line.  I pause for a long time.  Yes, I reply inwardly, I'm going to get sick.  I'm pregnant.  The words didn't reach my mouth.  I couldn't tell him.  Desperately, I looked for a way out of the predicament.  All that looked back was Adam's unwavering stare.  Dread welled in my stomach.

          I have no choice but to tell him that I am pregnant with Matt Hardy's baby.

          Shit.


	6. Toeing the Line

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 6**

"Lita…  You can sit here all night and look at the floor, but I'm not leaving until you've answered me," Adam says, his tone firm.  I sigh, running a hand through my hair.  God, where's a distraction when you need one?  Where's Molly when she'd actually be useful?

        "Adam, it's nothing.  You're making a big deal out of nothing," I tell him.  It's obvious that he's not buying it.

        "Lita, I know something is wrong, and I know you're not telling me it.  I want to know, and you'll feel better once you get it off your chest, trust me," he says, his tone earnest.  I doubt I'd feel better, but apparently if Adam keeps this up we'll see.  God, please let him get bored to death over it and promise to pester me later.  I don't need this right now.

        I think we've been standing here, neither one of us saying a word, for ten minutes now, and it's driving me nuts.  I think, in fact, it's driven me off of the edge, because my mouth is opening and I think I'm about to tell him that I'm pregnant.  I can't think of anything to say as a prelude to the announcement.  I mean, what can you say? 'You remember when Matt and I were going out?'  There's no way to say this but bluntly.

        "Adam, the reason why I've been so sick and tired…  Well, it's because I'm pr-"

          "Hey man, we've got a match coming up in five!" Chris Jericho's voice sounds.  I turn, and see the blond Canadian walking toward us.  He has no idea how much I want to kiss him right now.  "Bischoff made the match: You, me, and Christian versus Bitcholution minus Mr. Flab."  Adam is miffed…  It's obvious, but Chris doesn't seem to be picking up on it.  Oh, well.  Got to love him.

        "I'll be there in a second," Adam says, his eyes never leaving me for a second.

        "Hey Edge, the match, it's on in five minutes, buddy.  You need some time to stretch.  This can wait 'til tonight, right?" Chris says, motioning to us two.

        "Go to the curtains, Chris," Adam replies, his voice steady, "I'll be right behind you." Chris walks off, but only after an eye roll.  "Li finish what you were going to say," Adam orders.

        "I'm probably just dealing with the stress," I lie.  Adam purses his lips.  "Honest, Edge," I add.

        "Lita, I don't know if you know this, but it is really obvious that you are lying through your teeth."

        Yeah, I know it.

        "Look, I've got a match now, but when I get back, we're going to continue this conversation," he says, and his voice is promising.

        Damn.  Why can't I have a thing for air headed guys?  It would make life SO much easier.

        "There's nothing to continue," I protest, and Edge shoots me a look.  Okay, so maybe I shouldn't keep lying to him when he knows I am.  It was worth a try.

        "I'll see you in a few," he says shortly, and stalks off.

        All I have to say is that the last goodbye he gave me was **so **much better.

        I open the doorknob and walk in the locker room, plopping down on the couch unceremoniously.  There is no way I'm going to tell Edge that I'm pregnant tonight.

        And if I had my way, I would never tell Edge, but I have to at some point and now sooner than ever, seeing as how my stupid slip-ups alerted him.  Sigh.

        Edge has a level head on his shoulders-okay, after some persuasion, of course-but I don't know how he would react to the news.  Wait, never mind, I do know.  He would beat the shit out of Matt, doesn't take a genius to figure that out.  Especially with what was developing between them…  To keep him away from Matt would be like a mouse trying to tame a lion.

        Keeping Adam away from Matt for the time being is a two-person job.  I don't have a second person, and I need one.

        Gosh, this sucks.

        Jeff?  He's my best friend, but he's also Matt's brother.  I don't want to turn them against each other.  Stacy?  She's a great girl, but ditzy, and I doubt she'd be able to help put some sense into Edge.  As a matter of fact, scratch all of the Divas off of the list.  Christian?  Nice guy, but can't keep a secret worth anything.  Wait!  I know who!

        I'm going to hold myself to this, no matter what.

        Tonight, I'm gong to tell Chris Jericho that I am pregnant.

        ---     ---     ---     ---     ---     ---     ---     ---     ---

**Author****'****s Note: **Hope you guys liked the update!  Please review!

**P.S.-**There will be no updates from July 25th-August 3rd.


	7. Confessions

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 7**

                Damned if you do, damned if you don't. 

                It's funny how old clichés seem to apply to my life around now.  I'm damned if I tell Chris that I'm pregnant, but I'm damned if I don't.  I sigh, running a hand through my hair, hugging the pillow to my chest tighter.  I'm currently sprawled across the bed in the hotel room, watching some action/comedy movie with Jericho.  Lord knows I really haven't heard a word of it.  Chris is sitting in front of me, on the floor, leaning up against the foot of the bed.  I didn't—and still don't—think it was a wise decision, after he'd gotten so bruised up after his match, which his team had barely won, but hey, I've got the bed, so I'm not complaining!  His blonde hair is totally blocking my view though, but I don't really care at this point.

                Chris turns his head, facing me.  "Want some more popcorn?" he asks, his mouth full, his hand holding the popcorn bowl outstretched.  I give him a look in reply, and Chris stands up, plopping down on the bed beside me.  His eyes narrow.  "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you lately?" he says.

                Whoa.

                I didn't think I was being **that **obvious.  I guess I was though—Edge noticed, and now Chris.  "What do you mean?" I ask, trying to find a reply.  Déjà vu—wasn't that what I asked Edge?

                "You know what I mean," Chris counters effortlessly, and I can't rebuke his statement.  I suppose that's what happens when you have close friends; they can read you like a book.

                Goody gumdrops.

                "I've been worried about you, Red," Chris continues.

                So God help me, I'm touched.

                "Chris, I've got something to tell you," I interrupt, playing with my hands.  Is this really a bright idea?

                "Yeah…  Go on…" he coaxes, and I sigh.  I don't want to do this, but I have to.

                I really, really, **really **don't want to do this.

                "Chris, you've got to promise not to go after anyone after I tell you this."

                "Can I go after them now?  You can tell me after," Chris suggests, and I glare at him.  This is not the best time to have the smart-ass in him come out.  "Okay, fine.  I promise I won't go after anyone, no matter how much they deserve it."

                My hands are curled up so tight I can't even feel them.  "You've got to promise one other thing."

                "What is it?"

                "After I tell you…  Don't judge me," I whisper, my voice soft.

                "Li…" his eyebrows come together, curiosity and concern evident in his voice.

                "Just do it," I insist loudly, covering up anything that he was about to say.

                "I promise," he replies, nearly too quickly.  I run a hand through my hair again, looking around, desperate to find something to stare at while I tell my piece…something other than Chris's face.

                "Well, to start…  Matt and I weren't taking a break," I say slowly.  The same story had gone to Jeff had gone to everyone else in the WWE.

                "No offense, Red, but I kind of figured that.  When you take breaks, you—" he pauses uneasily and shakes his head.  "Never mind…  Keep going, Lita."

                "I…I…" my throat tightens.  Am I really going to tell him this?  "I can't," I whisper tonelessly.  "Chris, you won't understand, you…" I trail off, unable to finish.

                "Try me," he replies, steel in his tone.  I look at him, and see the determined way he has set his jaw, and know there's no getting out of this.

                "You can't tell anybody…  Especially not Jeff, Matt, or Edge," I say, trying to veil Matt's name between the two other names.

                "What does Matt have to do with this?" Chris asks, his eyes flaring with sudden anger.

                "Chris—"

                "What?"  
                "You promised not to go after anyone," I remind him.  "Not now, not yet, anyway," I add.

                "Alright," he seems to slouch, the wind taken from his sails.  "So what is it, Li?  What's been going on?"

                "Matt and I…  We had a good relationship, at least I thought, until the end," I say, my voice shaking.  No, we didn't have a good relationship.  Matt was sleeping with **Trish**, for cripes sake!  Sure, I thought it was great, but it obviously **wasn't** great enough for that mousy-looking, bed-hopping—

                I'm getting off track.

                "Sometimes, on our time off, we would go to the bar together, and just get drunk.  It didn't matter what we did afterward, because we were always with each other, and it wouldn't matter if we ended up sleeping with each other…  But one day…  One day, it **did **matter," I feel tears burning at my eyes, tears of anger toward myself.  I look up, forcing myself to continue.  "We went to the bar as usual, and got really, really drunk, and we ended up in the hotel room…" I trail off for a moment.  "We didn't use protection."  I can't bring myself to look at Chris's face, feeling the shame welling within me. "Chris…" I took a breath.  "I'm pregnant."

                ----           ----           ----           ----           ----           ----           ----           ----           ----

**Author's Note: **I hope you liked the chapter!  Please


	8. Confessions, Part II

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long time between updates, but I hope you like this chapter! It's kinda short, but oh well. Please review!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the story itself!

* * *

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 8**

"Whoa!" Chris leans back, blinking. I'm biting my lip again-it's a nervous habit that I've been trying to rid myself of, but at the present time, it's not exactly the first thing on my mind. "You're pregnant," he repeats slowly, as if trying to get used to the fact. But damn, that sounded weird out of his mouth. I'm pregnant… Jeez, _I'm _not even used to it. "And its Matt's," he says, confirming the facts. He lets out a long breath. "How far along are you, Amy?"

"About a month," I admit. A long silence hangs over us.

"Are you _sure _I can't kick his ass?" Chris asks earnestly. I laugh, but shake my head 'no'. He sighs in defeat, and glances down to my stomach. "You're not showing yet," he points out and I nod. He meets my eyes. "People are going to talk when you do start showing, Lita," he tells me, and I nod.

"I know… I intend on telling everyone soon." Okay, so I do. I'm not looking forward to it, or making any plans, but I will…later.

"You're procrastinating," Chris informs me.

"Me? Procrastinate?" I try and look innocent, but he just shakes his head.

"Are you _really, really _sure I can't kick Matt's ass because I could, you know, and just get him out of the way so—" he says.

"No," I say firmly, cutting him off.

"Okay, okay. I just have a few questions." I raise an eyebrow.

"Go on."

"A little birdy told me you kicked Trish's ass today," he started, but didn't finish, hesitating.

Yep, and I'm darn well proud of it. Not the fact that Jeff saw it, mind you. But Trish deserved it. "Yeah, and? She's a bitch."

"She's dating Jeff."

"She broke up with him."

"You two are supposed to be friends," Chris continues, and I can see the surprise in his eyes at my comment earlier.

"She cheated on Jeff with Matt!" I explode, and Chris suddenly scowls, freezing.

Crap.

"Chris-"

"He cheated on you with your brother's girlfriend?" Chris repeats, and I can see the anger building in him. "I'm going to kick his ass," he growled.

"Listen to me, Chris! I'm all for kicking his ass, but you know he'd start a vendetta. I want him out of my life, not constantly in it," I look him in the eye. "I promise that when I go on maternity leave, you can kick his ass. Hell, have _fun_ kicking his ass. Put in a few punches for me."

Chris took a moment to calm himself down, and then looked me in the eye. "What is going on between you and Adam?" he asks seriously. I pause, lost for words.

"I…I…"

Jericho leans back, looking suspiciously satisfied. "So have you do done the dirty yet?" he wiggles his eyebrows, and I swat him with one hand. "Ow! I was just kidding!" he rubs his arm. "Darn pregnant women and their mood swings," he mutters, and I roll my eyes.

Suddenly, it didn't seem so bad, telling everyone about this. I mean, Matt and I were together when it happened, so it's not like it was cheating or anything. It's just…bad timing. I smile at Chris, thankful that he was there to listen and he didn't seem bothered by it. I know I have to tell Adam now, and I'm not really that concerned anymore. I know he, like Jericho, is going to want to attack Matt, but I don't really care.

I'm starting to get attached to that idea myself.


	9. Curiosity And The Cat

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 9**

Thinking back, it seems like I told Jericho that I was pregnant years ago, but it was only a month ago. I'm just past two months pregnant, and I'm beginning to show. All I have to say is thank God that the weather is cooling down. Bulky sweatshirts and loose long sleeved shirts have permanently placed themselves in my wardrobe. I talked to Linda about lessening my wrestling time to ease me out of the business. My excuse was that I wanted to take a year or so off for leisure traveling and whatnot. I think she sensed something deeper, but she accepted my reason without a second thought, and suddenly, I have what I wanted.

I still haven't told Adam… But I'm planning on it. Really soon, too.

Oh, yeah, right. Come on. I'm such a wimp. Especially now. I don't know how to put into words the way he makes me feel when he kisses me, or where in our relationship we are—friends with benefits or boyfriend/girlfriend?—but all I do know is that it's something I definitely want to hang onto. Maybe it's stupid, but I feel that if I tell him, it's going to put a damper on what we have together, but so will _not _telling him. At any rate, he hasn't mentioned it either.

Anyway, just like Linda promised, my matches have eased off of the show. And surprisingly enough, Evolution hasn't bothered me at all. It bothers me at the same time that it relieves me. I suppose it's better to go on with life than to brood, and that's exactly what I intend upon doing. Uncapping the pen in my hands, I look down at the notebook paper in front of me. I fully intend to not wimp out on this one. I'm going to send a formal note to Matt, telling him that I'm pregnant with his child and that I'm going to give birth. I don't expect he will care; hell, I'm _counting _on him not caring.

**_Matt._**

I frown at the letters on the paper, wishing that all of these damn feelings and voices inside of me would just stop. I had no time to whine and sob about what could have been. And anyway, he was getting his perks off of Trish the whole entire time. My best friend!

Well…at the time.

_**I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm pregnant.**_

Hmmm…. The line sounds so… I don't know. Like something I would have written to him months ago when we were together. Frowning, I push on.

_**I know the baby is yours for a fact. I am two months along now. Why did it take me so long to tell you if I've known for this long?**_

I pause to think about it a little. My thoughts form into words easily this time.

_**Because frankly, I didn't think that you should know. I heard about your fling with Trish. To be honest, I'm not that surprised or hurt.**_

Okay, so it was a lie. But it was just a little one! Those are okay, right? And it doesn't matter, anyway. He's said thousands more lies than I ever could.

_**But I didn't—and still don't—think that a baby should have a person like that for a father. That said, let me clarify a few things. Your part in this baby's life will be dictated by us, not you. If you don't want any part of his or her life, fine. Nice knowing you. I really couldn't care less. But if you do want a part, I'll let you, because it's only fair. It's only fair, then, that you aren't going to be the father in its life.**_

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. The command that my letter was taking over him was sure to piss him off. But damn, did I sound good!

_**Tell me whether or not you want to be in the baby's life as soon as you can get off of your lazy ass and respond.**_

Okay, so the lazy ass part wasn't quite necessary… But oh well. I'm not going to shed any tears over it or anything. He deserves it.

_**I'd prefer to not have this get around backstage, but if you feel you must slander my name, and yours, go right ahead.**_

I took a breath writing that line. I really don't want this backstage, that was true. But the other part wasn't quite as much. I mean, the 'go right ahead' part. Because, come on, I wasn't ready for that. How much would it hurt my friends, hurt _Adam_, if they heard it from backstage rumor, and not from me? I shake my head. Matt would guess that everything in my letter was true, which most of it wasn't. Hopefully he would think that line was true, too. If not, I'm pretty much screwed. But thinking about Adam gave me another sentence.

_**And if you think that you can just come right on into my life and try to sweep me off my feet and get me to marry you, think again. I'm not making the same mistake twice. And, unlike you, I don't have two significant others at the same time. Oh, you may ask how I learned that little tidbit of information… Well, it turns out that Trish's mouth is also loose with words, not just finding her way to the top.**_

I think that's enough Trish insulting for now. I don't exactly want an epic here. Humming softly to myself, I add a few lines and put the letter in the envelope and seal it. The sticky stuff is as gross as ever. Yuck. They should have like cherry flavor or something. It only takes a minute to drop it into Matt's locker room, seeing as how it's next door—ironic, isn't it?—but I did it in thirty seconds.

The task complete, I return to the locker room, thinking once again. Sending a letter may prove that I'm not brave enough to tell him face to face…

But Matt Hardy is going to have one hell of an interesting night once he reads that letter.

* * *

Christian frowned to himself as he saw a white envelope slide underneath the door to the locker room. He stood up, quickly snatching it off of the ground, flipping it to the front. _MATT _was scrawled across it in big letters. Christian shifted from foot to foot. He had a tag match with Matt, and the other man hadn't returned yet… It was quite obvious that the letter was meant for Matt and only Matt. Still, curiosity ate at him.

He opened the envelope.


	10. Confirmation

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 10**

"Lita!" Christian's voice sounds down the backstage hallway and I turn to look at him and sigh at the distressed look on his face. So much for that coffee break I was hoping for. Dear Lord, I love my friends, but coffee is the high point of my existence. Christian (much to my disdain) catches up with me. "I need to talk with you." Didn't give me much choice there, did ya? "What's going on with you?"

I frown. If Christian is noticing something different about me I must have a neon sign on top of my head telling him it. Well…apparently that or having a baby in my stomach. "What do you mean?" I stall.

"You're-" Christian freezes, suddenly looking embarrassed.

"Jay…" I say slowly.

"It's just…well…" he scratches the back of his head with his arm. Yup, I'm probably not gonna like it. "…you see…"

"Christ, Jay, just spit it out," I demand sourly. I'm suffering from caffeine deprivation, okay? Cut me some slack. And doesn't that pregnant thing count for a few extra points too?

"You're pregnant!" Christian all but shouts. _Jesus Christ! _I glare at him and purposefully stomp on his foot while I look around. Several stagehands are staring at us (looking terrified, but you know they're going to go up to the next person and squeal). Noticing my gaze, Christian winces. "Sorry, babe," he says sheepishly.

I roll my eyes. "Babe is a pig, kind of like you," I snap. Okay, he didn't deserve it.

Jay frowns, looking awfully like a scorned puppy. "I'm real sorry Amy. I didn't mean to shout it out."

I sigh. The stagehands already scurried off to tell the nearest wrestler. Goody; just what I need! Oh well… I suppose it was bound to happen sometime. It just came sooner. "It's okay, Christian," I relent.

"So it's true," he says slowly, like he's afraid I'm going to stomp on his foot again. Hmm… It's a good idea, come to think of it. I nod in reply. Really, what am I supposed to say in answer?

"How'd you figure out, anyway?" Maybe I should reserve the stomp for Chris. If he told Christian…_ooh _am I going to get him!

"I, uh…read your note to Matt…" Jay says (sheepishly).

"You what?" I shout. Okay, so maybe I can deal with him knowing. **But he read my note! **The one _specifically _addressed to _Matt!_

"I'm sorry!"

He sounds like the words are a shield or something. I sigh. "Forget it, Jay."

"What are you going to do?" he asks tentatively a moment later.

I frown. "I don't know," I said honestly, "I don't know." Another sigh escapes my lips. "I'm going to go and try damage control," I tell him and turn around.

"Ames…" I turn my head back to him. "What am I supposed to say if someone asks me about it?"

I bite my lip. It'd be so easy to just tell him to deny it. Say he was mistaken. But no… "Tell them the truth."

I'm done hiding secrets, especially this one. I move my feet one by one, going toward Adam's locker room. Jeff will understand, Stacy will understand…but Adam won't. He'll _hate _me. I know how he is about trust and I think if he hears it from some stagehand before he hears it from me then it's going to ruin his trust for me, and that's something that I don't want happening.

But…I don't want to think about what might happen if I don't get to him first.

I just need to concentrate on getting there…and how on Earth I'm going to tell my sort-of-boyfriend that I'm pregnant by my ex.

I really should call CBS about that soap opera deal.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hey! I'm back! I hope you guys liked this chapter; I'm sorry it's short and that it's been so long since I updated last! (But hey I got in another chapter!) I'm technically not supposed to be on the computer; I have to unpack my things from my ski trip and some other stuff, but hey! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Have a happy new year everyone and please review!


	11. The Final Countdown

**Blue Nova**

**Chapter 11**

The sounds of my footsteps against the concrete floor kind of remind me of the drum roll in the movies before someone is hanged. And, you know, maybe there's a reason I'm thinking of that, because I minus well be dead without Adam. There! I admitted it. I'm becoming attached to him in more ways than one. He's just so sweet and caring…not to mention tons different from every guy that's tried to get my attention in the past years. He truly cares about me and I… Well, I'm in love with him. Doesn't that say enough?

So, yeah, I haven't really just realized it but it's the first time I've admitted it. Big load of help that does. Kind of ironic, huh? You realize you love someone just in time to lose him? Now, walking to God-knows-what with Adam, I wish I would've just submerged my shame and told him earlier. The optimistic side of me continues to hope that he hasn't heard it…but there's this cool pit inside of my stomach that tells me otherwise. This isn't going to have a happy ending.

I'm at the door now. There's nothing left to do but knock. It takes all of my will to raise my hand and do so. A moment later, Adam opens the door. I swear my heart fell to the vicinity of hell when I saw his emotional face. He looked so…broken. "Adam…" I whispered, intending to rattle off an apology but the words dying on my lips.

"You don't need to say anything," Adam says, his voice hoarse.

"Adam, please, listen to me," I beg. He doesn't respond; he just stands there with that look on his face. I'd do anything, **anything**, to get it off. "Hear me out Adam."

"I think I've heard it all," he replies.

I shut my eyes tightly. "No, no you haven't. Adam, please give me another chance."

"Another chance?" he repeats, his voice rising in anger. "Another chance? You want another chance after you betrayed my trust and broke my heart? **You want another chance?**"

"This is why I didn't tell you!" I shout. I really didn't mean to, I swear I didn't… The silence is deafening between us and I can feel tears burning behind my eyes. "I love you Adam; I'd do anything for you. I didn't want to tell you because I know I'd lose you. Don't do this, Adam," I plead.

He shakes his head slowly. If it's possible for my heart to go down further, I think it is. "You're pregnant with Matt's kid."

"Yes."

"And you didn't tell me."

"Because I thought I'd lose you."

Adam looks at me, his eyes disbelieving. "If you would've told me sooner I would've understood."

"You and I both know you wouldn't have," I reply sharply.

"You kept this from me," his voice raises in intensity. "You told Jericho and Christian before me. Hell, you told the entire backstage before me! Do you know how embarrassing that is? Do you know how much it hurts that you trust them more than me?"

"Do you even care how I feel?" I shout, tears running down my face in a steady stream by now. "I tried, by God, I tried to tell you but I was too afraid you wouldn't understand and you'd leave me. I don't rate my trust, Adam, but you're among the top. I didn't want to tell you because right now you're the only good thing in my life and I didn't want to lose that." Adam stares at me and it's painfully obvious that my words aren't going through to him. I close my eyes again, feeling shamed. Not only am I being dumped, I'm being humiliated—pouring my heart out for nothing—and looking like some pathetic little girl who can't handle anything. "The only person I told was Jericho. I wrote a letter about it to Matt and Jay opened it."

"I don't care," Adam says through gritted teeth, "My point is that you didn't tell **me**."

My face is blotched with red marks and my eyes are probably already bloodstained and puffy. "What do you expect, Adam?" I sob, "I don't think I made the wrong choice. I told my best friend and then the father of this baby. Do you think you hold a right over them to know?"

He glares at me through a mix of emotions I won't bother to decipher. "I love you Amy, but you betrayed my trust. You're carrying Matt Hardy's baby and, intent or not, I was the last one to hear about it. It's obvious that you don't trust me."

"It's not like that!" I yell. He shakes his head slowly and I step back. "You and I both know that it isn't true, Adam. So why are you doing this?" he steps back into the locker room, his hand on the door, moving to close it. It wasn't just closing that door…it was closing the door on our relationship. "Please don't do this, Adam," I beg, more tears falling down my face. His eyes are cold as he slowly shuts the door.

My entire body goes numb at the sound of the doorknob clicking. I wrap my arms around my stomach, stumbling a few feet before leaning against a wall and sliding down the wall until I am sitting. Partially alone, I allow the tears to emerge again.

"The man worth your tears will never make you cry."

I look up to the soft voice, instantly knowing it was Jeff. He's kneeling in front of me, gazing at me with concerned eyes. He reaches forward, pushing my hair away from my face. "Let's get out of here," he whispers, standing and offering me a hand to stand up.

I had never been more eager to comply.

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**Author's Note: **Hey! I hope you guys liked this chapter! It was nice to write :). And don't worry; there's definitely more to come. Please review!

**Thanks to Red-Ice Blue-Fire, huntersgirl, ME and Not You, Kylee, and Latisha C for the wonderful reviews. Keep 'em coming!**


	12. Inside and Out

**

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**

_**And everything I had in this world  
And all that I'll ever be  
It could all fall down around me  
Just as long as I have you  
Right here by me.**_

_-3 Doors Down, "Here By Me"_

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**

**Blue Nova**  
**Chapter 12**

I'm not sure how long it's been since I had the spat with Adam, and, at the moment, it doesn't really matter. I'm content to just sit here, holed up in Jeff's hotel room, staring at the wall and letting the numbness well up inside. Maybe it was a gift that the scene wasn't replaying through my mind. Somehow, though, I think it was the shock of it all that was blocking my mind from doing it.

"Smile, Red." I look up when I hear Jeff's voice. He smiles at me and sits on the end of the bed, looking at me with those inquisitive green eyes of his.

"Why?" I ask sourly, which isn't really fair to Jeff, seeing as how he's just trying to cheer me up. He takes it in stride, though, his facial expression not moving an inch.

Jeff doesn't answer me—I can see the answer in his eyes; I've already heard the answer countless times before. "It could've been worse," he says honestly.

"Everything can always be worse."

"Li…" he sighs, looking at me earnestly. "You know, I don't think you were really in love with him."

My bloodshot eyes snap to his face and I can literally feel the contempt blazing a path to them. What does he know about love, anyway? The moment the thought went off in my mind I wished I could take it back. Thank God I hadn't said it…

"What do you mean?" I ask, unable to keep all of the anger out of my voice.

"What do you really know about him?" Jeff asks. "How much time have you spent together? How much does he know about you? Does he really know you?" he pauses, "Do you really know him?" It's impossible to stay angry, even a smidgeon, with Jeff. The way he speaks…it's obvious he doesn't mean them like that. I know he just wants to make me feel better. He always has. It's a trait I thought I had found in his brother, but I was wrong. It's a trait I thought that Adam had…but it's not. Come to think of it, it's not really a trait.

Everything that Jeff was asking…I know the answers to. Reality sucks, but the reality is that the Adam I know is stale; static; flat. I can tell you about his favorite food and sports, but I can't tell you anything about his past, about his dreams, about his fears… How did I fall in love with a guy I don't even know? Then again, maybe…maybe I was just in love with the idea of being in love. There's a thought bubbling inside of me; a cruel thought, but one that strikes a feeling deep within me; a feeling I know is closer to the truth than the rest: I wanted someone to be with. Not for the comfort of having someone, though maybe that was part of it, but for the pregnancy. I'm afraid, afraid of going through this on my own.

"I'll always be here for you," Jeff says, patting my knee gently. It's heartbreaking, in a way, that he doesn't know how much the words he just spoke mean to me. He doesn't even know how much **he **means to me. I look up to him, lost for words. How can you tell someone how much they mean to you? Speech is such a brutal form of communication when it comes to feelings. There's so many things that you feel inside; so many things that just can't possibly be translated into words and definitions. Jeff smiles at me, and I can see it in his eyes: he knows exactly what I'm struggling to say.

That's the beauty of having someone there for you that knows you inside and out. When words fail you and no sentence falls from your lips, they hear your speech. When everyone has left you in the barren wasteland of broken dreams, they are the ones dutifully helping you place the puzzle pieces of your life back together. When the black abyss of pain surrounds you, they are the ones showing you the packets of silver in the dark, and when your world turns into a tornado around you, they are showing you the sunlight beyond the ripping wind.

Now I know how blessed I am, to have someone like that, and I'm never going to forget it. No matter what happens, Jeff will be there for me. Everyone will come and go, but he'll always be there.

And that's all that matters.

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Author's Note: I hope you guys liked! It's kind of (actually it's really superly) sappy, but yeah...lol. Happy Valentine's Day! We here in GB got the best present-no school:) We have three days of school this week. It's so awesome! Anyway, please review!**

**Thanks to  
**_AniLuLu  
ME, and Not You  
huntersgirl  
kandiland  
des1  
Latisha C  
_**for the reviews!**


	13. Crossed Wires

**Blue Nova  
****Chapter 13**

In, out; in, out… I've long since accustomed myself to the steady sound of Jeff's breathing. The room is pitch-black, except for the small patch of light coming in from underneath the door. It's been nearly an hour since Jeff and I clambered into this bed, deciding that it would be best to attempt to get some sleep. It was a good idea, and right now I really wish I could get to sleep. My brain, however, wouldn't relent in its thoughts of Adam.

How had things gone so terribly wrong? It was my fault. I know that now. I was the one who should have told him about the baby, but…I apologized. That doesn't solve everything, but why was he so hostile to me?

I didn't do anything wrong. I was with Matt, in a serious relationship, when I got pregnant. So I wasn't ready to come out with the truth soon; can he blame me for that? Apparently he could, judging by his attitude earlier today. Or was it yesterday already? I roll to my other side and peer over Jeff's shoulder to glance at the clock, but he's covered up the brightly glowing numbers with a shirt. I smile as I lay back down. I should've known.

I should've known a lot of things – all of which have come back to bite me in the ass. Sighing, I roll back onto my left side and stare at the door once more. There's been this overbearing weight on my shoulders as of late. It lifted when I told Chris, but it's back again. Guilt, pain… I want to go somewhere. Somewhere where I can forget about those things. But no place like that exists.

Jeff mumbles something in his sleep, and I feel his arm wrap around my waist. I smile, and snuggle into him before a thought catches in my mind. I need to do this. "Jeff?" I say.

"Mmm…?" Jeff replies sleepily, his breath warm against my neck.

"I…I'm pregnant," I pause, waiting for something, anything, from him, but he doesn't reply. "I wanted to tell you…but then you'd get angry with Matt. I don't want to get you guys fighting again. I'm so sorry—" I ramble, but Jeff interrupts.

"I know." Just as simple as that. My mind goes blank momentarily. He knows?

"B-but… I wanted to tell you as soon as I—"

"I know," he repeats again. "Go back to sleep…" he whispers, and draws me closer to him with a gentle tug of his arm. I finally relent, my eyes closing as the warmth of his body radiates over mine. He knows; weird how much better that makes me feel. Right now I don't really care how he knows – only that he knows and he doesn't hate me for it.

I don't need Adam. I've got Jeff, and Chris too. For the first time in quite awhile, I think I can do this. What will she look like? Excitement and anticipation, emotions long since absent throughout this ordeal, run through me. I've got all the family I need. Jeff protectively wraps his arm around my abdomen as he shifts. I smile as he does so, and suddenly I can't wait to see what little miracle Jeff has his arm around.

---

"So, Edge, how'd it go?" Adam stopped at the offensive voice, and turned to face the man it came from: HHH. He hadn't been planning on running into the other man. His eyes drifted down the hallway of the hotel, counting the number of rooms until his own. All he wanted to do was to drop his bags and sleep after the disaster this day had been, but apparently someone up there had a different agenda.

"Hunter, go to hell," he hissed, and the other man just smirked.

"Hey, hey, hey, is this how you treat a friend?" he questioned, putting up his hands as if in surrender.

"You're not my friend," Adam corrected icily.

"I helped you out," Hunter pointed out, still holding that annoying smirk on his face.

"I would've heard eventually," he retorted, already tired of these games. He didn't want to stand here debating with Hunter for any length of time.

Hunter laughed. "Yeah, she was probably on her way to tell you. What do you think she would've told you? I doubt it would've been the truth," he laughed again, and Adam had an acute desire to punch him for all he was worth. "And you probably would've believed her, forgiven her. You'd still be her whimpering little mutt, following her around even though everyone else knows the truth; knows that she cheated on you."

"What do you want?" Adam retorted venomously. "I have things to do."

"Like what? Mope around your hotel room?" Hunter prompted, raising his eyebrows. Adam didn't say anything, caught by the truth. "Jesus man, don't give her any satisfaction. You and I might not be the closest friends, but we both know what she's like. She's probably off celebrating her victory with a new guy…or maybe Matt."

"What's your point?" Adam asked hollowly. A few days ago, had someone told him he would be having this conversation with Hunter, he wouldn't have believed them. But now he knew Lita had cheated on him with Matt; the man who supposedly broke her heart.

"Neither of us wants to see that bitch happy. So how about you come clubbing with Evolution?" Hunter prompted. Adam sighed. The urge to continue with his plans and just go to his room was still there; but Hunter was right. All he would end up doing would be moping.

"All right," he relented. "Just let me change out of my gear."

Hunter clapped him on the back. "We'll meet you in the lobby, buddy." Adam stared at him for a long moment before turning and slowly walking to his room. Hunter watched as he unlocked the door and disappeared. Smirking evilly, Hunter turned, heading toward the lobby.

For veteran, Adam was quite gullible.

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**Author's Note: **Yikes! It's been so long since the last update. My deepest apologies – I've gotten into writing for another T.V. show, and it's taking up a lot of my writing. I'm going to try and still update some of my wrestling stories, but most of them will be on hold. I'll probably be updating this, "Inside of Me", and whatever I _can _write, with sporadic updates. My apologies again for the wait! Feedback is most welcomed, and thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!


	14. Some Element of Normal

**Blue Nova  
****Chapter 14**

By the time I woke up, the sun was streaming across the bedspread and Jeff had gone. Moaning, I roll over to assess the clock, shoving Jeff's shirt off of it. Ten thirty. Knowing I should get up, I clamber out of bed only to spot the Dunkin' Donuts bag sitting on the table along with a cup of coffee.

Jeff. I grin and slide into the seat, sliding the coffee closer to me and determining that it was still quite hot. I took off the lid and blew on it a little as I read the note that he'd left.

_Li,_

_Went out for a run, I should be back by noon. Left you a bite to eat. Chris called; he wants to know if you and I want to go to his mom's house with him over the free weekend – no live show on Monday so we just need to be in Toronto on Wednesday. A whole week free! I told him you were sleeping, and he was ready to barge in and make sure you weren't sick. You might want to call him back._

I smile and set the note down again, happily pulling out a powdered sugar donut and munching away. Why do things taste so much better when you know you shouldn't be having them? After I ate the donut, and part of another one (now that I have a good excuse to, I should've eaten the other half), I haul my bag onto the bed and search through it.

Sweatshirt, sweatshirt, sweatshirt… I toss the rumpled clothing onto the bed, not surprised by the lack of variety. There really isn't much to choose from when you're trying to hide this sort of thing. My hands close in around something familiar, and, after a brief pause, I lay it out next to the sweatshirts and loose shirts two sizes too big. I bought it on an urge a few days ago at a maternity shop, trying it on once before putting it away, still shocked by the whole being-pregnant thing. Now it was here, staring me in the face. There wasn't anything special about it – it was low-cut long-sleeved shirt with a tight top and a loose bottom to go overmystomach. I look to my other options, hesitating for a moment.

I want to get this over with. I'm tired of the gossip about me being pregnant and I only heard a fraction of it yesterday. God, it's so hard to believe it's only been one day since Jay spilled the news. I want to scream from the mountaintops that yes, I'm pregnant and no, I don't give a damn what anyone thinks of it.

There aren't any mountains nearby, so I decide to wear the shirt instead.

----

I wanted to make a statement, and I turn heads as I head downstairs. For the first time in a while, I spent some time on my hair and make-up, and look to be the Diva status that I am; excluding a certain body part that is decidedly un-Diva like. The wrestlers and stagehands have, per usual, mobbed the hotel's diner for lunch.

"Li!" I turn at the sound of the voice. My face tightens as I realize that it's Jay running up to me, breathless. He's probably run quite a ways to catch up with me. I repeat that to myself, trying to make myself scrounge up some sympathy, but it's not working. If Jay had just kept his grubby little hands to himself, this whole mess wouldn't be here. "Will you hear me out?" he asks after he regains his breath. I bite my tongue and nod in reply.

"I want to apologize," Jay mumbles, fiddling with his hands as he talks. He's never been good at heart-to-heart talks. "I…I really shouldn't have read that letter. And after I went and screamed it out to half the company…" I wince at the memory, "…yeah," he completes ineloquently. "It was bad. I was a complete moron about it. I just hope…we can still be friends," when he finishes, he looks up at me, and I'll be damned if he doesn't remind me of a little puppy.

I don't want to be mad at Jay. He's a good guy, just a little dense at times. And, really, if he hadn't read the letter…would Adam have reacted any differently? He still would've gone bonzo that I hadn't told him sooner. I was the one being stupid; thinking that I could hide something as big as this, that I _should_ hide something as big as this…

"Yes, Jay, you were a moron," I reply, "but I forgive you. Just promise you won't go sniffing around reading other letters addressed to other people? Or at least not go screaming the contents of said letters in public?"

Jay grins. "Well, are there any secrets I should know about?" he replies. I roll my eyes and he laughs as we walk toward the diner together. He glances over at me and smiles. "You do look good today, Red."

The small smile stays on my face as we sit down. We eat together – correction, I sip a pop and nibble on some fries, still full from breakfast – and Jay throws down a burger and fries, all the while making fun of the people that keep whispering around us. I think he was a clown in the past life. It's a fun time, and I'm glad things are cleared up between me and Jay.

"Hey, do you have any idea where Jericho is?" I ask, suddenly remembering again what Jeff had said in his note. "I left him a message on his voicemail, but…" When I'd called, his cell phone had been turned off.

"I think he was meeting up with the rest of the band," Jay answers. "Are you going down to his mom's house this weekend?" he asks, then scoffs. "We sound like losers, don't we? Going down to our friend's mom's house for our free time?"

I laugh. It's probably true that it sounds like we're odd, but Chris's mom is heaven sent and their house is as close to paradise as I think I'm going tosee for a while. "I'm pretty sure that I'm going; Jeff too. Speaking of which, I should go back to the room. He should be back soon, and then we can work out what we're going to do today."

"All right. Well, I'll see you later," Jay says. I smile and wave as I walk away, glad that the company picked up these bills so I didn't have to fumble for my wallet to pay for my food.

I'm just walking into the carpeted hallway that leads to the elevators when I see him. He sees me at the same time and we stop dead in our tracks, staring each other down. For the life of me, I don't know what I'm thinking. Mostly along the lines of: _Oh, God, oh, god…_

"Lita," he says evenly. He's never said it like that before. A burning sensation pricks at my eyes and I stubbornly push it back. Those pregnancy hormones are persistent buggers.

"Adam," I reply, just as evenly, as if to say I can play this game too. Still, it's hard to comprehend that he's standing in front of me right now. It feels so…weird. I am _so _over him. I mean, I even looked at a few guys just a few minutes ago at the table!

Okay, so I was giving them amused glances because they were whispering about me, but I was looking, wasn't I?

"Moved on to my brother, have you?" Adam asks in a strangled voice.

Anger pushes into my veins, and I'm seeing red. Any hurt I was having over this is gone. I'm glad he said it. I'm glad I'm having Matt's baby because it helped me realize that this man was nothing but a worthless pig. I narrow my eyes. "Oh, yes, you're totally passé," I say with a straight face. "You see, Jay thought we should have one of those after-sex meals. I couldn't eat a lot though. You know, people to do, things to see…" I wink at his alarmed face and start to walk off, a bounce in my step when he grabs my forearm, causing me to spin around to face him again. I _hate _it when people do that. When did 'hey, turn around!' lose its effect?

"Did I mean _anything_ to you?"

"A number in my checkbook," I retort icily, and he glares at me, waiting for a real response. "You did," I relent.

"You meant a lot to me, too." Okay. This is positively going no where. What are we going to do next, get a drink and reminisce about high school? What does he want? "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was scared – and rightfully so – of how you react to the news. Though, I have to say, I didn't quite expect what I got – you definitely win the psycho of the year award." It was hard to think that I had been lying in that man's arms just a few days ago. Words fall from my mouth automatically, my brain taking precedence somewhere else. I feel numb all over when all of a sudden I start to remember how he dumped me after I told him the news. The need to lash out that's been bottled in my chest explodes into my words, as well as my anger at him. "I'm glad we broke up though. I don't know what I was thinking – I must've been suicidal or something, thinking of spending the rest of my life with a dolt like you!" his face doesn't show any emotion, but I plunder onward, the words helping my emotions. "I did nothing wrong – or, at least, nothing that couldn't be forgiven. But you…you're scum. No, you're scummier than scum. I actually cared about you… Notice that's in the past tense. I never want to talk to you again," I say the last words slowly and carefully as pain makes itself known. Things had changed so quickly.

Before I could succumb to any self-pity or nostalgia, I raised my chin. If he was really the understanding guy I had thought he was, Adam would've understood. But he hadn't, and we were over with now. I have my friends, and they're all I need. I know that they'll always be there for me. It all sounds logical in my head, but when I look at Adam it still hurts inside.

But it'll fade in time, I tell myself as I step away and walk toward the elevator. Things change, and people move on. Well, things changed, and now it's me who has to do the moving on.

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**Author's Note: **:) Relatively on time! Yay! Thanks for reviewing, everyone!And yes, I'll try to update "Inside Of Me" once my muse comes back to play and I get some free time.I hope you guys enjoyed!


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